I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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