dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
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