Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize