problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
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apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?