So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer