Tell her she can't have a vagina
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
