you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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