the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Bring me that man meat
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
