i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
