its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
