are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
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