Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He did a backflip because drugs
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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