The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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