I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
bring money and cleavage
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
