sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
