i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Dignity is for republicans.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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