I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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