not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
