Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
