I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
