Buhtt sex?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
