Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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