I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
