i barfeds in our rink
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
this must be what syphilis tastes like
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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