Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am available for nakedness
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize