he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
There are leaves in my underwear?
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