please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
