im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize