don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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