i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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