absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
