people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
