I want to have your abortion
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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