My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
