but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
