Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize