see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
