once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
