Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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