I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
