the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
