I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
