i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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