Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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