would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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