Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
