You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
