quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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