quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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