Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
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