There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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