btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
